Here we are...May of 2022. It has been such a quirky year and we have made it this far, yet it has seemed like an uphill battle the entire time. Summer is almost here! We just have to take it one day at a time and pray that we come out the other side unscathed.
The topic of this post is not one that particularly pertains to dancers or dance teachers. But it does address the incredible standard that most of us expect of ourselves. As dancers, we are constantly thriving to have the best technique, be in the best shape, look as great as we can, and be as close to perfect as possible. It seems only natural that we would carry those tendencies over as parents, right? The only problem is, it is the farthest from natural and so not healthy for you or your child. So, what do you do??? Full disclaimer, my son has some issues that are being addressed with therapy. He is fine and healthy, but has some behavioral issues that are less than desirable. They are unacceptable in my book. Just like falling out of a single pirouette is unacceptable. It is just plain not okay. And every time he acts out and has a problem, I feel like I used to feel when I would bomb an audition or have a horrible dance class. It literally ruins my day and I find myself dwelling on it and searching for answers for a quick remedy. When I get the news that he has had yet another problem, tears fill my eyes, it doesn't matter where I am. I scour the internet for any expedited remedies and talk to as many therapists that I can. The reality is, he isn't some trick that I can spend a few extra hours on and find a solution to the problem. He is my child, my love, my pride and joy, and whatever he is going through has so many more layers than some bad dance habits. But just as bad habits are hard to break, so are his new ones. It takes time and patience. And I have to remember that he is brand new to this world and trying to navigate everything. If he were meant to know it all right away, he would have been born that way and this journey would be quite different. I find myself refraining from posting a ton of photos and posts on social media these days. Maybe I feel that I am doing an injustice because we are miles from a perfect family? I am not ashamed or embarrassed of my little guy, but I have a very difficult time meeting the social expectation that is misperceived as perfection. As I take a step back and look at the small wins, I try to really soak in the good moments and share those with others. But perhaps there is some beauty in that, too? I pray that my son's flaws contribute to the memories that are his journey and the strong human that he will hopefully become. May the days of struggle be afterthoughts and may I remember the joyful successes. Just like learning how to perform a clean pirouette can feel like a small feat, you don't always remember how many times you fell or how long it took. As humans, sometimes all we can do is strive be the best version of our unique selves.
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AuthorNikki Allred Boyd (Dancer, Choreographer, Mom). Archives
March 2024
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